Over It

Who else loves these dumb facebook quizzes? It’s like the quiz in the back of the teenage magazines I used to read. I loved those. I found the results of this quiz to be especially delightful as I have almost nearly given up on men. It’s sad and true.

What’s Really Out There

If you haven’t seen my latest Instagram post you need to. It is a small compilation of the men out there to date and my commentary on their photos. I’m just done trying.

Here is the problem.

You have a cluster of mediocre men who may or may not have a job, or a personality, or have one pinky toe in the gospel, looking for BEYONCE.

They LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. to say the the prophet married a woman 30 years younger than him..so why can’t they?

I’ll tell you why. Because you are a janitor and President Nelson was a HEART SURGEON and an apostle so you nearly have a 100% chance at a pretty good marriage if you marry him. At least you know he is probably nice. It’s like comparing Durian to Apples. There is no comparison. If you don’t know what Durian is…it’s basically the nastiest fruit on the planet that smells like rotting flesh.

I. JUST. CAN’T. DO. IT. ANYMORE.

AND. If there is a decent man out there you have to basically sink your teeth into him and never let him go. I CAN NOT. That is not me or my style and never has been. I wouldn’t even know how to go about doing that.

Side note. I know there are good men out there. Surely there are. I just don’t meet any because the number one place to meet men is at work. GREAT. 99.9% of the people I work with are women. I am a second grade teacher.

And if there is a guy I think is cute…. I hide, because I am awkward.

If I posted similar pictures to the ones I see men post I would literally never date. In fact let’s look at some similar pictures and analyze them.

If I had similar dating profile pictures to men..I’d never date.

If I was a man posting pictures on a dating site.

Picture 1: Stuffed Cats in the back dash of my car. Why? My Mom cleaned out her house and gave us our childhood stuffed animals and my children put them there because they thought it was funny. I am now old stuffed animal cat lady. They are still there. It’s been two weeks. Picture Two: The equivalent of mandals. I was cold. Picture 3: Baking in my best outfit and hair. Picture 4: Yeah. I don’t know about that one. I have kids. Picture 5: Pedro from Napolean Dynamite, yes that is me. Best Costume Ever. Does it make you want to date me? Picture 5: Sunshine. Picture 6: She’s chubby but she’s active folks. That’s her in the back.

Here are my real life dating app pictures and profile. I always wonder what other women have on their dating profile.