This summer has been a summer of growth. Last summer, was a summer of physical growth. I traveled the world and saw so many beautiful things and places. It was so tiring and so refreshing all at once. This summer my heart and mind have grown exponentially and I have been on a different journey. It has been a lovely treacherous journey. I have been reading a lot. A few of the books I have been reading are:
Escape From Auschwitz by Andrey Pogozhev
This book reminds me that we must never ever allow this to happen ever again. It was horrifying punctuated with pure acts of compassion and cruelty all in one.
The Book of Mormon a chapter each morning. One thing you need to know about me is that I want more than anything to do the right thing. The right thing by my family and by my God. It is important for me to try each day to bring my best. Sometimes, there are things that we want but they are not the right thing and that is truly the hardest thing. The hardest thing is to trust and have faith. We don’t always know why but when we have the guidance we need there is no other way than to follow it.
(***Tangent***) People ask me how I can believe in Joseph Smith that there is so much literature against him and his character. The bottom line for me….is why would he submit himself to being chased by mobs, tarred and feathered, his children died because of a mob attack, he was thrown in the cellar of a jail where he couldn’t stand up..why. Why would ANYONE submit themselves to that? I can tell you the moment someone tarred and feathered me and people were picking tar off of my burned skin I would be OUT. The only answer is there was no other way, he saw God and Christ and once you see that or you have that witness how can you possibly ever deny it? You just can’t.
And so, I knew there was something that was just not right in my life. Let me tell you, I wanted it to be right but it was not. I knew. I was reading my scriptures in the middle of this excruciating time I came across this scripture in the moment that I needed it. In Words of Mormon 1:7 it reads: And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.
And it was another confirmation to me and I knew what I had to do. Which is hard because I am a person who needs to know the outcome of things. I want to know the beginning, middle, and end. I don’t like the unknown. The unknown is this really dark, uncomfortable space for me. It is like walking on a bridge in the dark across a chasm and having to put one foot in front of the other and not seeing where it is you are going and there is suffering. If it was only me who was suffering that is ok I can handle that but it isn’t and that is the worst. Really, that is the worst. But I know and I have to do the right thing.
The Wrestle. It is the wrestle.
Heidi- by Johanna Spyri I am loving this old classic. In my minds eye I have traveled through the Alps. Heidi is in Austria but I am in Switzerland when I read this story. I am smelling the spicy flowers and pine trees. I am surrounded by the crisp mountain air. I am there in the middle of this story and I highly recommend it. It is a story of redemption. I was reading this book passing the time while I was getting my oil changed. I had walked to Smashburger and ordered a kids meal. As I was reading the book touched my heart so deeply that I began to cry like a weirdo in the middle of Smashburger reading my book. Oh but it is SO LOVLEY and I WISH that everyone would read it. I am going to read it to my class this year. Heidi is like any darling five year old girl full of life and energy. I have decided that I may want to move to the Alm, get a couple of goats and live my life out on the land up there. It is a magical adventure this book. In the least I must go back because also in Switzerland dairy is a food staple so I am sold. When I read Heidi these are the things that I see in my minds eye. I am walking mountain paths and feel the cool crisp air on my skin. It is really truly magical and you just feel close to God in these places.
AND. Literally, my favorite picture of all time.
The last book I am listening to currently is called Born to Run-by Christopher McDougall so far it is fascinating there is some language but it is a really great tale. I highly recommend it IF you are a runner or a wannabe runner like me.
XOXO- The Sunny D