Too Much.
If you think about it we are bombarded daily with images, media, people, even our own thoughts bombard us whether they are positive or negative. I think of the the pressure I put on myself to be a good Mom, to be thin, to be “out there dating,” to be the best I can be at what I do. That if I am not achieving these things I am a failure.
And. Not only that if I am not achieving them with a smile I am a loser in game of winners. But failing at what and by whose standards?
This life can be stressful and it can take it’s toll mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. All I have to do is look around at some of my friends who are suffering from the “too much” syndrome. They are sick. Really sick. Metabolic and Auto-Immune deficiencies are terms that I feel are associated with someone who has been under too much stress.
Too Much.
I know when life has been too much. The first sign is waking up in the morning and feeling like you just laid your head down. It is never feeling rested. That is the number one sign.
So I have been thinking a lot about this “too much” syndrome and what can I do to simplify? How can I release the pressure valve? I know I am the only one that can do that for myself. So much work is put into daily living there is not much left over for me. I have said many times I am a shift worker. Shift one begins and I work it for about 9 hours and then shift two begins when I get home until about 8:30 pm. 6-8:30 pm my life is not really my own. The last few weeks I have been making some small changes.
1. I am making sure to have daily exposure to spiritual things. Whether through prayer, scriptures, or listening to a talk while I grade papers during my special. ***A Special is when your students are at Music or PE, etc.
2. One of my recess breaks each day I walk the long way to my classroom. I breathe in the air. I look at the sky and I take just a moment to listen to the birds. I pay attention to the tension in my neck and shoulders and make a conscious effort to let it go and relax. I think of 10 things I am grateful for.
3. I am giving myself a free pass on my weight and make-up and fashion right now. I can afford the necessities and basic staples to run my household, so I will use the clothes, perfume, and make-up I have and not buy more.
4. Body Image: Here’s the thing I can’t handle starving right now. Starving is what I basically have to do to be skinny. I can’t. CANNOT. I am running ragged raising these two children of mine so the weight thing can just take a back seat. I can’t even wrap my brain around squats, running seven miles, punching a bag or snapping the giant ropes against the ground. I’m already too tired from “too much.” So, for the time being I will take a much gentler approach. I will drink my protein shake, I will do my relaxation yoga CD. Which has left me sore every time I have done it because there is so much tension in my shoulders and lower back! I will go for a long walk outside and I will be kind to myself. It is the best I can do right now.
5. I am learning how to mediate effectively and work through stressful situations in healthier ways.
6. My Mom told me about an article that said your kids need your undivided attention for ONLY three minutes three times a day. I have been trying to do this with my children and be present when I am with them. Let them talk, and me listen.
7. In bed as I fall asleep I think of ten good things I did that day, enough beating myself up for the things I didn’t do…sheesh.
Right now life is about simplifying and not engaging in the “too much” hustle. This is not the season to be a super model and I am ok with that. It is my season to work hard and to provide.
XOXO- The Sunny D