I love weekends more than anything. I mean, I love my job. How can a teacher not love her job? If I could JUST teach and not worry all the time about all the other rigamaroll that goes with it…I am pretty sure I would like the week as much as I like weekends.
I have these patterns in my life. I recognize them now.
They go from contentment.
TO, I am doing NEARLY..pretty much everything I am supposed to be doing,( except sometimes I am tired and short with my children, or I am too tired to read my scriptures one night.)Why am I not being blessed with the things I am asking for, that I have asked for in every way I can think of, I have been specific, I have had a brightness of hope, what else shall I do?
TO, Heavenly Father, what IS it exactly YOU want me to do with my life?…and then generally back to contentment. I try very hard to be on the path Heavenly Father wants me to be on but sometimes it just feels like I am walking in circles. I wonder if I am going where I am supposed to be going or doing what it is he wants me to do?
Maybe I am the only one that feels this way, kicking against the pricks as they say.
I am in Frustration mode right now. I am ready to be back to contentment mode because that is where I am the happiest. I mean, I am happy I am just so-so happy, frustrated with my life happy. YES, and don’t worry I practice what I preach..I know I am the only one that can change my life and TRUST me when I say, I AM DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to change things.
Today we went hiking.
Look at those cute kids.
Love this hike, LOVE the hieroglyphics so much!
Grandma came with us.
I know. The thing on my head looks weird. It is a sweat band thing but now that I have bangs…I have to wear it when I work out or I look super odd.
The kids were GREAT on this three mile hike. It isn’t far but part of it is pretty gravelly which can be hard for little kids. We hiked to the spot, the kids had a snack, Aydan freaked out about the wasps and Ellie told him to chill out. We tootled around and then we headed back. It took about two hours with the little kids. I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, nothing was weighing heavily on my mind. I had left my phone at home and so I was just enjoying life, nature, and my family. We had hiked back about two-thirds of the way and Ellie started to whine, she was getting tired. I held her little hand and gave her a sip of water. She moaned, “When are we going to get back?” I replied, “Soon, I can see the cars up ahead.” I pointed in the southwest direction and said, “SEE? there is the parking lot right over there, just a few more steps.” She groaned, “but I CAN’T see the parking lot.” I said, “That is okay. I can see the parking lot and it isn’t far at all.” That satisfied her and we walked along a little ways. It then dawned on me that this must be what Heavenly Father feels like with us. He holds our hand, and encourages us, he tells us it isn’t much farther to go. We complain because we can’t see the end result. He points, and he reassures some more, he gives us rest and quenches our thirst. We get tired, we complain, he reassures, he gives us peace and before we know it the thing we are working for has arrived. I love the quote that says something like: Remember that all the things you have now are once things you only wished for. So, I am going to try to remember that when I feel frustrated. When there is so much work to do and not enough time, when my children are difficult and I am ornery, when I am on a deadline at work, when I run out of milk and have not one extra minute to spare to get groceries, when I am on my last drop of gas and refuse to put a tank on my credit card or dip into savings to fill up, when I hear a song that pulls up emotions in me that I am not sure I am ready to face, when I have SO many thoughts running a marathon in my brain at night and I can’t sleep. I will remember that Heavenly Father has my hand, he can see the end and there isn’t much farther to go. There are just a few more blind footsteps of faith.
I am content. Ok. sort of on my way there. XOXO-The Sunny D