I was riding my bike because riding bikes and Springtime are the perfect combination…..and over my headphones came the lyrics by Colbie Caillat…”Boy we go together like peanuts and Payday and Marley and Regge…and I kind of just started to think about good combinations.
I thought about my kids and how the three of us together are just like a perfect combination. We aren’t perfect, but together we are a really good team and I love them. I love that they love each other so much that they hate each other at times. BUT…that they almost always listen to me, and love me and each other. Ellie had plans with some friends and so I took some precious time with Aydan last weekend. We had SO MUCH FUN. Isn’t it awesome when your kids become fun? It is clear that these children are everything to me and I feel such a strong sense of responsibility to do my best in raising them the best way I know how for the next few years. At one time I might have looked at my family and thought with just me at the helm maybe it isn’t a perfect combination but I have come to realize that it is. I am a mother and these two are my perfect combination.
I have had the horrible misfortune of being under the weather for several months and just when it subsides it seems to come back full force. I began to think maybe there was a bigger problem at hand than just being tired and stressed fighting the cold, flu, and then allergies. It has wrecked havoc and my sinuses have been terrible. I know many people have had a hard winter in this respect. Even last weekend I was wiped out for most of it. As this week progressed I felt more like myself and I was so grateful for the return of energy and the fact that I could breathe out of both sides of my nose. Friday after work I decided I needed a work week detox and I headed to my favorite trail at Usuary Pass. Another perfect combination to battle stress…exercising in nature. The flowers were so beautiful and the birds were so happy. I listened to a couple conference talks I had fallen asleep to the week before and it was so lovely. I went home scrambled an egg, had some watermelon and corn for dinner. I hopped into the most amazing bath with Epsom Salts another perfect combination and went to bed completely wiped out yet exquisitely happy from the evening. It was 8:44 PM and I felt as if there couldn’t be anything more delightful or that I could feel any more joy.
I awoke on my own at 5:45 Saturday morning. I was refreshed and my house was quiet and I did one of my favorite things in the whole world. I just lay there. Luxuriously in my comfortable bed and then I decided that I should get a start on the day. I had been wanting to attend the temple. I made it to the 7am session. I felt so much peace and reassurance. I knew everything that was troubling me would be ok. I knew angels were attending me and I knew who they were. I could feel them there one on my left, and one on my right and one hands on my back supporting me. I could feel their support and I know that in my worries and troubles I am absolutely not alone. We all have an army and we have an army here but I fully believe that we have a spirit army holding us up as well. I think when we pass on and can see the full scope of our lives we will be surprised by just how much support we have while working through this test on Earth. I think Saturdays and the temple are a good combination. I then came home to clean my house and tidy the leaves that had overtaken my front porch and become a slipping hazard. I tidied the back porch and picked up the doggie poops. I watered my plants and again felt joy and marveled at how TWO packets of seeds could make me smile so much. I have tomatoes growing and basil….all I need is some fresh mozzarella and balsamic vinegar. Perfect combinations. I tutored my favorite little student and then had a few errands to run, a car to wash because I think driving and a clean car are a perfect combination. It was Stake Conference this weekend and I think that the Saturday night session is the BEST session. I loved it. I learned so much and I sat among friends.
One fact I know about myself is that by the weekend I am usually so tired that when my children are at their Dad’s I enjoy very much just being alone and tackling the many tasks that need to be accomplished at home. Quiet and home are a perfect combination for me.
I had a good conversation at conference Saturday night with several friends. I was recently told that I was too good for a man I had been dating. It is interesting. I am either, not good enough or too good, or I am not interested in them. The stars just never seem to align. I am ok with that. I have decided that I don’t want to worry about being good enough, or not good enough. I am happy being me and I am working so hard to be a good Mom and provide a good life for my children. I am trying to teach them to be good people and that is not always an easy task in this day and age. Maybe right now the perfect combination for me is the life I am living and taking time to enjoy it. It is finding the balance which can be so tricky to do. It is taking the moments to go on the hike, cook a real meal, sit still in the temple, rest, and when you have energy enjoy your beautiful friends.
Our part time dog has a lot of anxiety in the car. It is so stressful for him but we have learned that he LOVES to go for bike rides. Instead of picking him up on our weeks in the car we have made it a little Sunday habit to pick him up with our bikes. When my kids are with me we go together and when they are not I go alone. This is a perfect combination and even better with a Diet Coke in the basket. Sunday’s are for sunshine, puppies, and bike rides.
XOXO- The SunnyD