You Win Some, You Lose Some.

Annnnd there is the random Cheetah. 

Last week. I went to bed at 7:30 on Monday night. I was exhausted. Tuesday night I went to the temple and it was lovely. Wednesday night I chewed my nails and watched Aydan cream his opponent in his wrestling match. He needed that win and it was so good to watch him do it. I was a proud Momma. Thursday night I went to dinner with my friend and then spent an hour unwinding at Yin Yoga. Friday my kids babysat at their Dad’s house and I went to see Hello Dolly at Gammage. We ate at Cornish Pasty which was tasty…and then met Heather and Tessie at the theater. It was an adorable play and I enjoyed every minute of it. The whole story is about permission to have a second chance. Pretty fitting, right? Saturday we cleaned the corners of the downstairs we moved the couches and vacuumed under the cushions my kids were amazing helpers. 

Anyway, this week started out swimmingly I say that sitting only at the end of Tuesday night. I made fruit and yogurt parfaits for the kids to grab for breakfast. I baked a pan of muffins and a tray of chocolate croissants. I planned this weeks meals and made a delicious dinner Monday night. Balsamic vinegar glazed chicken on the grill and Herbs de Provence roasted veggies with fresh baked biscuits. There was a special FHE for mid-single adults that I wanted to go to but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should stay home with my kids and have FHE with them. So, I did and we had a nice evening. Tonight I had 3/4 of a loaf of Cinnamon bread that I whipped up into French toast for dinner using fresh from the farm organic eggs. In between picking Aydan up from wrestling, getting him a haircut and running kids to mutual. But yet….there is something nagging at the back of my brain. Why can’t I shake it? I said I was laying down the swords! Okay, here’s the thing. 

I am hosting a small dinner this Sunday at my house for some friends. These friends are lovely and very accomplished every one. I have been to their houses and they are shiny, sparkly and new. I love my house but it has not been the priority. I bought the furniture when I moved in here ten years ago. At the time, it was super cute. The curtains in my house were hung up from my old house and are about 12 years old. My dishes are chipped and so are many of the tiles on my floor. It seems every year the ground gets cold more and more tiles pop and crack. I need to get my carpets cleaned. It bothers me but there isn’t really anything I can do about it right now. Honestly, I am still recovering financially from Christmas and having the kids for Christmas break. I know these are dumb things to worry about. I know I am comparing and I need to stop. I know my friends probably won’t notice and won’t care. I guess I just care and there are things as a woman that I just don’t really know how to do. I feel like just keeping on top of the laundry and cleaning is all I can do while working full time and holding a calling at church and trying to mother my children. Then sometimes, I look up and notice these things….sigh. Here is the really dumb thing. I have new curtains. They are sitting on top of my washer. I just haven’t had a chance to hang them. You know…you have to iron them and hem them. I did some re-arranging a few years ago but that is about as good as it has gotten here. So, I have been fretting a bit about what people will think of my little homespun home. It is lived in and loved. Maybe if I knock their socks off with an amazing meal no one will even notice my house, or my cracked tiles, or outdated furniture, curtains…..one good thing the paint colors are my favorite. 

I feel tired and I wish sometimes that someone would take care of me so I could take care of all of these other things. I can’t believe tomorrow is only Wednesday. 

Currently.

Onward and Upward. Comparison is the thief of joy..blah, blah, blah. 

XOXO- The Sunny D