It is hard to watch someone you love age. It was interesting because I think most of us felt that push to go see her. There was no pressure from my Mom I just felt I should go. I think most of my local family members felt the same thing because there was a constant stream of family around her all day and night long. WE LOVE OUR GRANDMA BECAUSE SHE LOVED US SO WELL. She was an example to me of what true charity is and I never doubted her love or devotion to me. I knew it.
And so as things like this go and someone I love is so ill, I begin to think. Those wheels in my mind churn and sometimes the feelings that stir in my heart well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Then I try to push it away and get busy on things so I am not sad. I thought the best thing I could do was to write and get some of these feelings out. So, I want you to know what kind of a Grandma she
was to me.
Memories
Grandma’s favorite color is blue.
Blue like her grey blue eyes that when you look into them it is like blue ribbons of love shoot out of them and wrap you all up in it.
She loves to give hugs and kisses I never left Grandma’s house or presence with out a hug and a kiss.
When I was a baby my Mom and I lived with my Grandma for a while during that time I learned all about what it meant to be a Grandma. Here some of my memories.
She would sit on the floor with me and we would do puzzles.
Each day of the week was a different chore. I can’t remember the order but I know one day she would clean and I can smell pine sol in my mind’s eye. I see her vacuuming with a GREAT BIG, heavy, brute, of a brown vacuuming cleaner. I see her scrubbing on her hands and knees the kitchen floor. I see her wiping tables and ironing clothes as I watch Scooby-Do. I see her making beds.
I see Grandma having friends over and a GREAT BIG quilt spread in her front room and ladies all around it talking and giggling. It was my job to crawl underneath and find the pins that had fallen into the carpet. They probably threw a few in there to keep me busy and when I would find one they would exclaim how smart I was and what sharp eyes I had.
I go with Grandma to visit old ladies to sit and talk. I feel kind of uncomfortable around old people but Grandma doesn’t. She just sits and visits.
I see Grandma sewing things on her old avocado green sewing machine. She teaches me how to sew buttons and use a needle to embroider around pictures in the fabric like butterflies. She teaches me how to thread the needle and knot the thread by licking my finger, pulling the thread off and it magically ties in a knot. She shows me that you always start with the knot underneath.
I see Grandma working in the garden. She is planting flowers, herbs, and vegetables. I hear her say you can’t grow anything here in the desert unless it is covered in thorns and I am confused because she always grows things. We sprinkle salt on the slugs and watch them shrivel up. I think this is great fun! She cuts sweet pea flowers to put on the table and they smell so good. She cuts roses and sets them in the front room. A lot of times she cuts just the head of the rose and she floats it in a pretty white dish with bumps. Now I know it is called milk glass.
I see Grandma cooking in the kitchen and I love it when I am sitting in the front room just as the sun hits the golden hour. Everything becomes gold through her off white lace curtains. I can smell onions and cabbage and meat…… all kinds of things that are delicious and my tummy grumbles. It is like soaking in what HOME should feel like, smell like, look like, sound like and taste like.
One of the days of the week is BAKING day. Which is one of my favorite days at Grandma’s. She makes cakes, homemade bread, rolls, pies, cookies..everything. She lets me sit at the counter and gives me some dough to play with. I am “helping”. If it is pie dough she gives me a little to roll out and make a shape we put jam in the center and I get to bake my own “pie”. I can’t wait for whatever it is to finish baking because when it is done I get to have a taste! YUM! I can still taste the rolls with butter melting in the middle.
I take a nap everyday and I love to take a nap. She tucks me in, sometimes when I wake up she is
laying on the couch reading a book. The book has a man like Fabio on the front and some damsel in distress I am sure. She also reads church books but those don’t look as interesting. (haha)
She makes me lunch every day there is a sandwich with veggies and fruit all cut up and easy to eat.
On grocery day she lets me pick out a cereal and yogurt that I like to eat. She gives me a penny for the gumball machine.
I am sick. Really sick. Pain is coursing from my ear through my head and down my neck. It hurts so badly I feel as if I cannot move. It is a constant thing for me that I loathe, that pain when it comes. Grandma rocks me until the pain bursts electric and hot. I cry. She rocks me and holds me close to her perfectly soft, snugly, Grandma body. She rocks me as long as it hurts and she sings lu-lu-lu-la-la-lu.
She never gets mad at me.
She gives me jello when my tummy hurts.
Sometimes I would walk on her back when it hurt.
She would tickle my face, arms, and feet.
She had a gold bridge behind her front teeth and when I lost my first tooth she told me, “If you don’t lick the spot where your tooth grows in at all…not even once…you will be lucky and get gold teeth like these!” OH HOW I TRIED NOT TO LICK THAT SPOT……but it was no use and in grew a pearly white tooth. Later in life I learned that Grandma had had a terrible abscess in one of her front
teeth.
She never forgot a birthday and always sent me a dollar. As an adult she still will send money when she remembers and Christmas time too.
She drove me to school every day and she would lick her thumb and wipe my face clean. Before she got to the school she would put on lipstick in the rearview mirror. Then she would kiss me. It was Cover Girl. I have a tube of lipstick that smells just like hers.
She always wore Chanel No. 5
She is FUNNY. She loves to have fun, dress up, and be silly.
My family at the hospital..the side of my sisters arm, my kids, Mom, Me and brother. A tender mercy for us was she is on my Mom’s floor at the hospital which JUST happens to be the same floor my cousin works on. I think that brought a lot of peace of mind to Grandma and the rest of us.
