― Ansel Adams
― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
But then something curios happened.
I had an experience that is vivid like the color puce. Puce Green.
I won’t go into detail, I will just say that I was walking alone, wandering actually aimlessly. In a zone that no one could break through zombie like. I was aware only that I was in Las Vegas, and that I was riding DOWN on an elevator. I was not drunk. I don’t drink, or do drugs. The emotions going through my body were so intense it was like fireworks went off for an hour straight right in front of my face. I couldn’t take anything else in. I was walking dead. I looked up and there were those lights everywhere. You know the Las Vegas lights, too many, too bright. When all of a sudden, breathe came over the sound system. Anna Nalick sang just for me and that was when I started to BREATHE. Literally. Just Breathe.
So now my perception of the song is different. It is colored by my perception, by the events in my life at that moment. I feel two things when I hear this song, a command. “Dior, just breathe.” and I feel pain, literal physical pain and I see McDonald’s, my feet on an escalator, and bright lights all around me. EVERY TIME I hear that song.
A song that was once just beautiful totally changed by my perception of ONE life event.
Except, that now Ihave a birds eye view of it, that event, those chain of events in my life and my perception is different. It is different because although initially I feel pain, I then feel strength. The strength that can only come from walking THROUGH an event just like that one and learning.
So here is another thought, What about my perception of marriage?
I mean, my marriage is over. It was broken, it nearly broke me in fact. But it didn’t. Here I am. I have a bird’s eye view. I am thankful for marriage. I am happy for second chances and I see my Mom and Dad who have shown me that second chances are just like anything good. They are hard work, but anything that is hard work is worth it. You see, I was able to see my parents marriage from the beginning. Not many children have that perception or what I would like to call an advantage. Many of us look at our parents and say, “This is exactly what a marriage should look like.” But they forget that it has taken dozens of years for that marriage to become that well worn in and comfortable. That what they see is two committed people who WORKED for decades!
It is an unrealistic perception of marriage. For a new marriage to be as comfortable as one that has been well worn into like your best holey pair of jeans. There are growing pains and there are JOYFUL moments too.
How about how we perceive ourselves?
